How to get responses on online dating sites

A woman reading an online dating first message examples and laughing. Breaking the If you respond to one message today, let it be mine.
Table of contents

On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. So what makes you different? I thought it would be kind of weird and offbeat, something no other guy would use.

There’s more to it than you think

It's worth a shot for you at least. This is an excellent opener for someone who is a sensitive guy because it matches you well.


  • dating agency west sussex.
  • 11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses!
  • dating site for american ladies.
  • Exactly What To Say In A First Message – The OkCupid Blog?
  • .

The way to engage her is similar to my second opener. These are the ones that have worked really well for me, but here are some other pointers in case you tried these already or you want some other approaches to test out. Getting a girl to respond to you on Tinder or similar sites is less about relationships and more about the game.

Most women are using it to have fun, so have some fun!

How to Talk to a Girl Online: Proven Openers

If you can make them laugh, then you're in. Don't forget to make a good profile too see end of article. This section will give some general guidelines for starting real conversations with women online for sites like OKCupid, POF, eHarmony. It's a little more than just trying to pick them up. Below you'll also find some more approaches and examples both of what to do and what not to do. For sites that are more known for people looking for relationships, it's best to try some other kinds of approaches, which will vary depending on your age, where you live, and who you're trying to meet.

Remember that this is just a guide and not a law. Here are some approaches you can try:.

A cup of coffee turns me from a grumpy morning person to a happy morning person! My favorite spot is Philz. Have you been there? An opener like this shows that you read her profile and saw that she likes coffee. You also gave her an easy question to answer if she wants to continue the conversation. I went to school in Boston too! I loved running on the Charles in fall. It was so beautiful. Also, I'm going to be a little bold here.

I'm going to a dodgeball tournament with my friends on Monday night. You seem like the kind of girl that might be into that sort of thing. Whoa whoa whoa, you say. Isn't that too fast? Many women online don't want to stay there. Show them that you've read their profile and then say something like "This is a little bold, but.

It works best if it's a group hangout. You can combine it with a drink beforehand, making it really effective to find out more about who they are as a person. Let's say a woman who now lives in Austin, TX says she's from Montgomery, Alabama and talks about how much she shamelessly loves country music:. A sample message could be: Country music is God's gift to mankind. Have you been to Alamo? This shows the girl that you read her profile, and then gives her an easy question to respond to.

As a bonus, if she hasn't been to that bar, then you can invite her to go out there. Talk Spain and tennis with me over whiskey in the city? I enjoyed your profile: This message is genius. It shows the girl that you read her profile, have an idea of things she'd like to talk about and where she'd like to go, and introduces you to her. If she wants to meet up with you, she'll say yes and you'll exchange numbers. If she doesn't, then you won't waste your time messaging her.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

There are some approaches which seem to be really common that actually don't work at all. Learn them, avoid them, and move on.


  • How to Talk to a Girl Online: Proven Openers | PairedLife?
  • good profile headline for online dating!
  • First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground?
  • Getting a Date Online?
  • speed dating jerusalem.

This is a pretty common conversation approach, which is like you'd use if you were meeting a stranger in real life, so you say "Hi" or "How's your day been so far? This is definitely better than some other ways of talking to women online i. It doesn't show that you've taken any time to read her profile or figure out what she might be in to. It's a really easy message to pass up, and unless you're Brad Pitt, she's probably not going to respond.

If you really want to use this approach, at least use an unusual greeting with proper grammar, like "Howdy" or "Oh hey there. This approach, like the above, is not so bad, though you probably won't see much success with it. Just like in real life, it's a little boring to just intro your name and then ask them how they're doing. They hear that kind of stuff every day. It's also easy to cut-and-paste this kind of message and when it's not even that interesting to start out with, it'll be easy for a girl to ignore.

Another problem with this approach is that you have to get from the awkward "hello we are both strangers" to going on a date with them.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

That's probably going to take more messages than you want to send or she'll want to respond to. This could be anything from a "Would you rather. They're bad for two reasons. One is that they sound like you Googled "good ways to start conversation with women" and went with the first one you saw. Two is that they don't actually get any closer to you meeting up in person. Instead, you'll know that she'd rather die by razorblades than in a fire. How useful is that?

7 types of online dating messages that get responses

Use questions and information that tells her about you and lets you get information about who she is. Like I mentioned above, women tend to ignore questions that start out with a physical compliment and you can safely assume that they'e already received dozens, if not hundreds, of similar messages. Make them feel interesting. You, by proxy, will also seem more interesting. Messages about how you're new to online dating and are not really sure how it works are boring. First of all, they focus on yourself and your own lack of confidence and they make her feel awkward because now she has to reassure you that it's okay.

She doesn't want to be your mom. At worst, she'll also assume she's strange for trying online dating too. Similarly, don't ask women how long they've been doing online dating.

How to Double your Dates and Responses on Tinder & Online Dating!

Those kinds of questions lead nowhere. Why does it matter? First messages that critique a woman's profile might seem cute, but they're just really annoying. No one wants to go on a date with someone who will be their judge for the entire evening.

If you like her, talking about noticing her spelling error might be the perfect thing to bring up on your 20th date, or never.